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COTD News:

The culinary challenges of restricted diets create some of the most resourceful and adaptable chefs in the world.

Late Summer 2024:

My apologies to the squeamish, I'm about to use some frank language to address a topic that currently affects me and doesn't get talked about enough. Descriptions of bodily functions and related unpleasantness are imminent. Proceed at your own risk.

There is a lot they don't tell kids in high school health class, especially the girls. Menopause was given only a passing mention. It's when menstruation ceases was all the knowledge gained. Not one word was said about perimenopause.

Menopause isn't as they say "the change". It's the end of it. Perimenopause is the real change. Two to ten years worth of it, or so I've read. There are plenty of jokes about hot flashes and serious medical advice for alleviating them, but not much is said about the menstrual chaos it brings. That information should be posted like a flashing highway sign warning about hazardous conditions ahead. It destroys the cyclical timing. You can no longer plan for or around your period. Not knowing when is distressing and even physically dangerous if you have endometriosis or other issues that cause heavy bleeding.

I'm fairly used to body horror, but perimenopause is pushing my limit. From the very first one to the impersonation of the elevator in The Shining that I did while on vacation in July, it's always been heavy. Normally, I stay home for the first 2-3 days of it. I cancel appointments. I back out of social engagements. This time, it showed up two hours before I was going to leave for vacation. It gave no warning. I didn't even have it in June. I hoped that maybe we were done.

I thought I could manage it. I'm a veteran at this. How bad can it get? It was worse than my worst imagining. The heaviest I ever had. The measures I had in place could scarcely handle the onslaught. I had to run to the restroom every 1.75 - 2 hours. A mere fifteen minutes late and I'd regret it, and so would my clothes. It significantly curtailed my activities. I did less than half of what I had wanted to do there.

What's the word for when you really want to spend time with someone, but you're afraid you'll turn into a blood fountain in front of them, so you scurry off like a frightened mouse before they can engage you in conversation? That's what I had to do for the entire trip. As awful as that sounds, I didn't have a bad time. I had the best time that I possibly could while enduring what now holds a place in the top five body horror moments of my life. Two to ten years of this shit --Whee!

COTD Issue 09:

Get it here

Issues 05, 06, 07, 08, and 09(our latest) are available for free download from our Mercantile page in the epub format.

We no longer offer our digital publications in the azw3 Kindle-compatible format. We apologize for any inconvenience.

Calibre is a wonderful(and free) program for e-book management and conversion. Those bent on a Kindle version are welcome to download and convert any epub we offer.

Featured Recipe: Chocolate Chip cookies II:

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• Ingredients:
• 1 ½ cups rice flour
• ¼ cup arrowroot
• ¼ cup sorghum flour
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• ½ teaspoon salt
• ¾ cup shortening
• 1/3 cup (67 grams) sugar
• ½ cup (90 grams) brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• ½ cup water
• 2 teaspoons vegetable oil
• ¾ cup dark chocolate chips

Directions:
Whisk together the dry ingredients in a large bowl. In a separate large mixing bowl, cream together the shortening and sugars; add the vanilla. Add about half of the dry ingredients and mix thoroughly. Add about half of the water; mix again. Add the oil; mix to incorporate. Add the remaining dry ingredients followed by the rest of the water; mix until combined. Using a large spoon or fork, stir in the chocolate chips. Chill the dough for 40 minutes. Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto parchment-lined baking sheets.
Bake at 375°F for 10 minutes. Once the cookies are out of the oven, wait 5 minutes before removing them to wire racks to cool. Yields 3 dozen cookies.

This recipe appeared in Cook-zine of the Damned Issue 08.

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